spermbanker:

sometimes i get distracted by my own cleavage like… nice…….

soulofacityy:

i’ve noticed that a lot of people confuse “respects women” with “respects women they consider respectable”.  

thefaultinourfandoms:

i swear to god I’m such a low maintenance friend like you could have not spoken to me for months and ill still be like yEAH FRIEND HI 

thinsquids:

yeah mom im ok i just dont want to be alive haha

jocazta:

"in the big brother house we do not tolerate violence.”

but you tolerate sexual harassment

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surprisebitch:

milliardo:

when you say frozen wasnt that good white people be like

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i cant fucking breathe

electricshoebox:

pomfcat:

Such polite barks

he gets up all excited the last time like YEAH I’M GONNA SPEAK YEAH WATCH THIS

"…….wuf"

watermellyn:

look at this dog baby

shadrachmaeckakshadestar:

buymypepsimax:

When you say the English title of an anime and someone condescendingly corrects you with the Japanese title.

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ive been trying to sneakily find out karens favorite kind of sweets and today she said carrot cake muffins are her favorite baked treat and carrot cake is so gross but guess whos making carrot cake muffins next week B)

Me: *during sex* ....i think i hear someone coming....
girl: ....who?
me: MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *bust nut*